Spilled Pudding
by tetsia.howard
Summary: What happens when Mama Luss isn't home to cook? B26. *WARNING!* Second chapter lemon. Shounen-ai first chapter.


The kitchen at the Varia Mansion was generally Lussuria's domain, and it was strange to not see the green mohawked Muay Thai master sashaying through with a bright pink apron and a plateful of sinfully decadent cookies or slices of cakes. On this particular evening, however, Luss, Squalo and Xanxus were on a mission together, which had left the two youngest Varia members to fend for dinner for themselves.

After rooting around the fridge for 10 minutes, the blonde prince had triumphantly pulled a chunk of scrapple from the back and plopped it on the counter. Fran walked in a moment later, as Belphegor tried to figure out exactly how to cook the chunk of questionable meat. After slapping it into the pan, he attacked it with a spoon and a spatula, swearing mercilessly at it as it sizzled and popped. Fran watched with his lip curled as Bel dumped the mess onto a plate and stared at it.

"Gah! The prince is not amused!" He poked at the meat with a dejected look.

Fran smirked at him, shaking his head. "Fail scrapple for a fail prince..."

"Ushishishi~ at least I'm not a peasant."

Fran rolled his eyes. "A peasant would have their food made by now, sempai."

"Why you little brat! No one said it wasn't done! I'm eating it." He stuck a bite of mush into his mouth, chewing and swallowing quickly.

"I hope you choke to death, Bel-sempai. Though with your oh-so-princely cooking skills, you might die of food poison first."

"Ushishishi, the prince can't die. And my food was delicious." He continued to eat the mushy scrapple, as if to prove a point.

Fran eyed the mush with a shudder. "Apparently, fake princes have fake taste buds." He turned away from the sight, rifling around in the fridge for his pudding cup.

Belphegor curled his lip at the small plastic cup. "Che, brat. What's with you and pudding anyway?"

"It's tasty." He popped the top off, licking the lid slowly and tossing it over his shoulder. Producing a spoon from the drawer, he dug into the pudding. "It's better than the ground up animal your unprincely ass is eating."

Bel stared at the teal-haired illusionist, almost choking on food. "Damn you Froggie."

Fran looked up at him, a faint glint of faux-hope in his eyes. "Oh, did you almost die, Bel-sempai?"

"Ushishishi, I already told you, the prince can't die."

"... if the fake prince can't die, how did he kill his older brother?" He took another spoonful of pudding and plopped it in his mouth, staring at the fake-prince.

"Ushishishi, only someone as princely as I can kill another prince."

"I think that tacky crown is starting to pressure your brain, un-prince. You're not even making sense anymore."

"Che~ how would you know anything, brat?" He took another bite of his scrapple mush, glaring at Fran.

"I know that pudding is delicious, and you are a false prince."

Belphegor growled. "Fucking weirdo. Who the fuck just watches National Geographic and eats pudding all day?" He was irritated and too distracted to think of any more insults at the moment.

Fran smirked slightly at his sempai's lack of a biting comeback. "I do. You should watch more informational tv, Bel-sempai... it would be better for you than the horror movies you spend so much time on."

"Horror movies are fun! There's blood and gore. That shit is boring!"

Fran sighed. "Fake blood and fake gore... perfect for fake royalty." He eyed his empty cup of pudding in disappointment, tossed it over his shoulder and turned back to the fridge, rifling around for another cup.

Bel threw his knives at his kouhai, grinning wildly. "Ushishishi. I can create my own gore."

"Ow. Bel-sempai, that hurt." He stood with a new pudding cup, walked over to counter and set it down reverently. He reached back, pulling the knives from his shoulder one by one, and bent them, then tossed them to the side. "You should be more careful with those, fallen prince."

"E-eh!? Don't bend those!"

The teal-haired illusionist looked at the last dagger, shrugged, then bent it and tossed it to the side. "You should be more careful with your toys, Bel-sempai."

"Are you even human?!" He gaped.

Fran looked up at him, confused as he licked the lid of his pudding cup again. "Ara? Of course I am, sempai... are you?"

Bel stared at the Mist, eyes wide under his fringe. "Y-... I.. Fucking Frog."

Fran dipped his spoon into the pudding, pulled it out and slid it into his mouth, eyes closed. "Mmmmm..."

Belphegor leaned forward too far as he stared and fell off his stool. "Mother... Fuck... Frog…," he grumbled.

Fran blinked, staring down at him curiously. "Now you truly are fallen royalty, Bel-sempai." Another savored spoonful, another soft moan.

Bel scrambled back to his seat, staring at the frog. "When the fuck will you be done with that bloody pudding!?"

Fran doesn't even bother blinking this time. He dug in for another spoonful of his creamy treat. "When I'm done, of course. Are you a fake genius as well as a fake prince? Mmmmm..."

" Damned frog will be the death of me..." The prince mumbled, shifting uncomfortably on the stool.

The frog in question licked stray bit of pudding from his lips and tilted his head slightly. "Did you say something, Bel-Sempai?"

Bel stared at the his (not cute, dammit) kouhai, not noticed that his nose had started bleeding. "N...nani?"

"Ew, sempai... are you dying?" Fran wrinkled his nose, staring at the thin trickle of red.

Bel wiped his face angrily, glaring at the Mist. "Shut up you little shit!" He grumbled to himself as he finished cleaning his face, "Your fucking fault anyway…"

Fran tilted his head in the opposite direction, lapping the pudding off th spoon as he thought. "My fault? Have I suddenly gained the power to kill you with my mind, fake-sempai?" Again, that tiny pink tongue lapped at the pudding.

The prince balled his fists in frustration, lunch forgotten at the tastier sight in front of him. "Yes. Yes you have."

The teal-haired assassin took a LONG lick of his spoon, obviously deep in contemplation. "Neh, I don't think that's it, Sempai... I wasn't even TRYING to kill you this time." He looked down at his pudding, sticks the rest of the spoon in his mouth and moaned loudly, eyes closing.

"Sure as hell seems like it, Froggie." He put one hand over his face and fixed his crown with the other.

Fran gave a small, happy smile as he scraped the last of the pudding up. Another moan slipped from him as he finished it off, finally sated. "Perhaps your unprincely brain got an aneurysm from too much thinking, sempai."

Bel attempted to stand, then sat back down with a shaky laugh. "Ushishshi. My brain is fine."

Fran snorted in disbelief. "According to whom, sempai?" He meandered over, just out of reach, after tossing his cup over his shoulder again. "Are you sick?"

"I must be to be thinking like this..." The blonde grit his teeth. "Come 'ere."

"Ara? I don't want to catch your unprincely germs..." But Fran didn't move away, just tilted his head again.

A slightly maniacal grin spread across the prince's face. "Froggie, I said come."

"Seeeemmmmpaaaaiiii..." Fran whined, stepped forward reluctantly. He wrinkled his nose at the fake-prince.

"Ushishishi, what's wrong Froggie? Scared?"

"Neh... I just don't want to catch whatever plague is crawling around your unprincely carcass." He bit his lip, taking another step forward. Really, he HATES being called a 'scaredy cat'.

"Plague? Ushishishi there's no plague Froggie." Bel grabbed his arm and pulled not so gently.

The smaller assassin gasped and stumbled, falling into him. "Ow... Bel-sempai..." He put his hand on Bel's chest to steady himself and blinked. "What was that for?"

Bel looked down at the slender hand, then to his face. "You were taking too long." He pulled him closer.

Fran licked his lips nervously, trying to see Bel's eyes through his fringe. "Ara? B-bel-sem-sempai..." He didn't resist the pulling, totally confused by his sempai's actions.

Bel leaned in, still smirking at the younger assassin. Fran kept watching him like a rabbit watches a snake, wary and half-expecting to be stabbed. "W-what are you doing? H-has the plague addled your brain?" He silently cursed the little quiver in his voice... he hated acting scared, even if he was.

Bel just leaned in closer, almost kissing the froggie. "Sure you're not scared?"

Fran's eyes narrowed slightly, still attempting to maintain his aloof face despite his confusion... not fear. Never fear. He decided to up the ante and leaned a bit closer, not QUITE touching the unprince. "No. Are you, B-bel-sempai?"

"Ushishi, the prince is never scared." The blonde closed the distance between them, pushing his lips against the frog's.

The illusionist gasped, eyes wide, not responding for a second as his brain caught up with the idiot-sempai's actions. Then, he gave a soft pudding-moan and leaned against Bel, eyes closing as he kissed him back.

The psychotic prince kissed him not-so-sweetly and draped hands around his waist. Fran's hands slid up from his chest to around his shoulders. As his head tilted back, his hat started to slip and he automatically reached up to catch it, pulling away from Bel as he did. "A-ara..." He covered his lips with his hand and stared at Bel. "W-why?"

"You had to moan as you ate that damned pudding didn't you?" The prince growled.

Fran blinked slowly, then understood. He gave a slight smirk. "It was REALLY tasty, sempai... Mmmm..."

Bel growled and grabbed him, kissing him again, savoring in the soft moan his Froggie gave. That'll teach him to tease...


End file.
